Chapter Text
[We open onto a view of Holmes and Watson’s apartment, at 221B Baker Street.]
Holmes [voiceover, obviously reading from a script]: Sometimes, it can be hard to take care of yourself. But the hardest things in life are often the ones most worth doing.
[We cut to the inside of their apartment. Watson stands outside his and Holmes’s closed bedroom door.]
Holmes [muffled]: Who is it?
Watson: It is I, Watson.
[The door creaks loudly as Holmes opens it a crack.]
Watson: You see it is only I, Holmes. Let me enter.
Holmes: Not so fast. You may be him, disguised. Prove you are Watson.
Watson: How?
[pause]
Holmes: Where do I keep my tobacco?
Watson: In the toe end of your slipper.
Holmes: And my letters received in the mail?
Watson: Affixed to the mantel with a jack-knife.
Holmes: And what were the first words I ever spoke to you?
Watson: “You have been in Afghanistan, I perceive.” For heaven’s sake, Holmes! Let me enter!
Holmes: Very well.
[Holmes swings open the door and smiles.]
Holmes: Forgive me for doubting you, Watson, but I had to make sure. They will stop at nothing.
Watson [with a sigh]: The professor’s gang?
Holmes: Precisely.
[We cut to a talking head with Watson.]
Watson: My husband is a private detective. He is… the best and wisest man I’ve ever known. He can look at someone’s hands and deduce their entire life story. He’s helped countless people.
[A photo of Holmes in a suit, receiving a medal for his work. Watson stands next to him, with a wide smile.]
Watson: But, he… as long as I’ve known him, he’s always used cocaine. I’ve tried to convince him to quit, but he wouldn’t listen. Even to me. It sounds silly, but that hurts my feelings to admit.
[Cut to Holmes, clearly high, laying on a couch and staring into the distance .]
Watson: And now my worst fears have come true. He isn’t himself. He doesn’t take new cases anymore. He spends all his time following poor Moriarty around, and Moriarty has threatened to get the authorities involved.
Narration: Sherlock is under the delusion that the math professor Dr. Moriarty is a secret criminal mastermind.
Watson: Our house is becoming unlivable. The shutters are always closed, because Holmes thinks that Moriarty and his associates are going to fire air guns through our windows. He won’t talk about anything but this delusion. And he’s on cocaine every second of every day.
Narration: Despite rigorous searching, Watson hasn’t been able to find Holmes’s stashes of cocaine.
Watson: I don’t even know how Holmes knows Moriarty. He’s always been private, and now that he’s doing so bad, with the cocaine, he’s worse than ever.
[A photo of an unassuming older man in a suit, Professor Moriarty.]
Watson [emotional]: I’ve been to see Moriarty, to ask him about the connection, but Moriarty refuses to tell me. He knows something, but he says that if Holmes hasn’t told me yet, it’s not his secret to tell. I hate being kept so far in the dark about my own husband’s life. If he won’t tell me what’s going on in his head, I have no idea how I’m supposed to help him.
[We cut to Holmes, sitting on his bed in a dressing gown. His pupils are noticeably dilated.]
Holmes: Moriarty is the Napoleon of crime! He is the organizer of half that is evil and of nearly all that is undetected in this great city and in the annals of contemporary crime. He is a genius, a philosopher, an abstract thinker - he sits motionless, like a spider in the center of its web, but that web has a thousand radiations, and he knows well every quiver of each of them. His agents may be caught, they may be apprehended and their crimes forestalled - but he - he is never touched, never so much as suspected.
Narration: Holmes refuses to answer any questions about his childhood.
Holmes: I’ve watched a few episodes of your little show, and I know what kind of pigeonholes you force patients into. What would be the most tasteful for you to hear? I could say that I was molested, or that my parents were drug addicts, or any manner of sob stories. I am a good actor. And that’s all that it would be; acting. Your [doing finger quotes] “reality” show is full of actors! I tell you, it’s the devil’s playground! While you waste my time jumping through your hoops, Moriarty is at large, committing any number of horrible acts at this very moment! How many murders are on your conscience? I am the only man capable of stopping him.
Watson: This is, unfortunately, in character for Holmes. It took him seven years to tell me that he had a brother.
[A photo of Mycroft, a tall, larger man in a suit.]
Watson: We were sitting at the breakfast table one day and Holmes started a conversation about hereditary traits, and used Mycroft as an example. And that was how I found out that Mycroft existed. …That’s just how Holmes is.
Narration: Holmes has limited contact with his older brother, Mycroft Holmes.
[We cut to Mycroft, wearing either a similar suit as the previous photo, or the exact same suit.]
Mycroft: I get along with him fine. I simply prefer to stay inside, and he has his cases to attend to. We understand one another perfectly.
Mycroft: Sherlock has always had black moods, ever since the tragedy in our youth. …He didn’t tell you about that? Watson hasn’t mentioned it?
[The background music stops.]
Mycroft: He hasn’t discussed it with me since… well, since it happened, really. But we don’t talk often… I had assumed that he would have told Watson about his past.
[A childhood photo of Holmes, about three, giving the camera a forced-looking smile.]
Mycroft: Our father was… cruel.
[pause]
Mycroft: Physically cruel. Abusive. Holmes and I have never talked about it… about what effect it had on him. It seems that that was a result of the effect. I didn’t expect that Watson wouldn’t be told…
[A photo of Holmes’s family; his father, mother, Mycroft, and himself. Something dark is behind all of their eyes.]
Mycroft: Our mother sought escape. And she cheated on him… I understand her intentions, but she was not careful. She made mistakes in concealing her affair. Our father found out. And… she was murdered.
[long pause]
Mycroft: We have never discussed it, but I understand that many of his actions are influenced by this.
[Cut back to Mycroft.]
Mycroft: I didn’t know that he hadn’t told Watson about this.
[We go to Watson, who has recently been crying.]
Watson: I- I don’t even know what to say. How could I know so little about my own husband?
[Watson covers his face with his hand.]
Watson: I’m sorry, I- - turn it off. Turn it off.
[We cut to Holmes and Watson’s living room. The couple sits in matching sofas opposite from each other.]
Holmes: What do the cameras have to be here for?
Watson: Because they’re organizing your rehab.
[Holmes is silent.]
Watson: When were you going to tell me about your childhood?
Holmes: What do you mean?
Watson: I know you want your privacy, but how am I supposed to help you through your black moods if I don’t know where they come from?
Holmes: There’s nothing to tell.
Watson: What do you mean, there’s nothing to tell? Why did I have to hear about your parents from Mycroft?
Holmes [agitated]: I don’t know what you’re talking about, and I don’t know how this relates to stopping Moriarty from dominating the world.
Watson: I’m talking about your… your tragedy.
Holmes: There is no tragedy.
[pause]
Watson: I - Holmes, you’re worrying me.
[Watson laughs bitterly.]
Watson: Well, no. I’m always worried about you. Holmes, I don’t understand.
Holmes: Moriarty w-
Watson: Holmes. We’re not talking about Moriarty right now. We’re talking about you. What did you mean when you said that there was no tragedy?
Holmes: I meant what I said.
[pause]
Holmes: I don’t know what you want me to say, Watson. What answer am I supposed to give? [turns to the camera] Are we supposed to be reading from a script right now? I don’t - I don’t know what’s happening.
[Watson stares at the ground.]
Holmes: What am I supposed to say?
