CLEVELAND — As one scuffling Indians hitter dashed out of the clubhouse in late April to provide the league’s urine collectors with a postgame sample, he shouted:
“Thanks for the confidence boost, MLB!”
Every baseball season produces its share of memorable quotes, whether self-deprecating one-liners from Terry Francona, pearls of wisdom from Oliver Pérez or Dan Otero, or just about anything that escaped Yasiel Puig’s mouth.
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So here’s a compilation of the best quotes from the 2019 Indians season.
That’s why they call him the Wild Horse
“I like to be like that, running the bases like crazy. That’s the reason people call me the Wild Horse.” — Yasiel Puig
“As long as he’s making lefts, he can wave at whomever he wants.” — Terry Francona
“I like to wave at people, like, ‘Hi, what’s up? I’m running no matter what. I’m going to make this base and you’re not going to throw me out.'” — Puig
About a week after they acquired Puig in a three-team trade, the Indians experienced their first taste of his goofy antics, as he waved at Twins fielders during his scampers around the bases. Puig didn’t run track during his youth in Cuba, but he said he did chase chickens and race horses.
Fashion statement
“What’s the slogan? ‘Let the kids play. Let the grown-ups look like morons.'” — Francona
The Indians’ manager wasn’t a fan of the team’s all-black Players Weekend uniforms. He compared himself to Max Patkin, once known as the Clown Prince of Baseball.
“I saw Brian Sweeney walking down the hallway and I said, ‘I hope I don’t look as stupid as you do.’ And then three guys said, ‘You look worse.'”
When bilingualism isn’t enough
José Ramírez, walking by a few reporters: “Too many questions!”
Reporter: “Do you have any answers?”
Ramírez: “No hablo Inglés.”
Reporter: “Hablamos Español.”
Ramírez: “I speak Chinese.”
As reporters waited to speak with a different player after a game in late September, Ramírez jokingly revealed his linguistic prowess in an effort to sidestep any potential interview requests.
Birthday bets
“I just wondered how many people in Vegas lost money betting on the under.” — Francona
Francona, always one to poke fun at himself, turned 60 in April. And what did his grandkids get him for his birthday?
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“Underwear. And some headphones that I have no clue how to use. I thought they were smart enough to know I don’t know how to do (Bluetooth). I thought they were smart enough to know I have no idea what that even is.”
Excellence in broadcasting
“This will be the low point of your career.” — Tom Hamilton to Marty Brennaman
Brennaman, the Hall of Fame voice of the Reds for the last 46 seasons, joined Hamilton and Jim Rosenhaus in the booth during his final visit to Progressive Field. (I just so happened to be sitting in the booth that day for this story.) Brennaman immediately joked that he had to be careful “not to drop any F-bombs.”
Francona and Brennaman developed a friendship when Francona played for the Reds in 1987. Francona said Brennaman still regularly leaves him profanity-laced voicemails.
Francona: “He seems happy as can be that he’s retiring. Good for him. I hope his wife’s a saint.”
Brennaman: “All I want to do is sit on my butt and watch television, Netflix, Amazon Prime.”
A video message from Francona and Hamilton played on the scoreboard. Francona opened the tribute by dubbing Brennaman “overrated.”
Brennaman: “Rarely are we ever serious around each other. He’ll go down as one of my top-five favorite people in the game. He’s self-deprecating, plus he was a terrible player.”
Swing and a drive
“Look at this one. This one was the farthest one I hit this year, against (Kenta) Maeda. Under the scoreboard. Look at Maeda’s face. He’s like, ‘Huh?'” — Franmil Reyes
Reyes takes some enjoyment out of watching replays of his towering home runs. And there are plenty of them. He hit 37 home runs in 2019 and ranked in the 99th percentile in exit velocity and the 98th percentile in hard hit percentage.
Swing and a drive, Pt. 2
“I was so happy we won because I told Olson that if that scoreboard wouldn’t have been there, I would’ve picked up that ball on the way home. That was one of the longest home runs, golly. My goodness.” — Francona, on Byron Buxton’s moon shot off Tyler Olson
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Moms say the damnedest things
“Matt Lawton told me, ‘That boy will be on somebody’s major-league team.’ I said, ‘You’re talking about the kid out in center field with a hat full of grass, throwing it up in the air and doing somersaults? That little boy?'” — Bobby Bradley’s mother, Deloris
I had the opportunity to watch Bradley’s big-league debut with his mom and sister, who shared some hilarious stories about the rookie slugger. That afternoon, Bradley notched an RBI double and drew a walk.
Playing baseball? Sure. Watching baseball? Well …
“I missed baseball. Being suspended for fighting is not fun. I saw the game from the TV — I didn’t see the game, because I don’t watch baseball. I prefer to watch different sports than baseball. I only play baseball. I can’t watch it. Any sport but baseball.” — Puig
How about boxing?
“People throw one punch and run like chickens. I like to watch soccer, basketball, American football, tennis. I can’t watch a baseball game.”
Might as well jump
“When I went out there, (bench coach Brad Mills) moved all his sh*t into my office. Maybe they’re trying to tell me something.” — Francona
Francona went skydiving twice during spring training. The second time, coaches and front office members joined him.
Makes you think
“Baseball, it’s crazy. It’s a round baseball that comes in a square box. Don’t forget that.” — Francisco Lindor
This became Lindor’s go-to line when explaining the quirky things or unpredictable outcomes that unfold on a baseball diamond.
(Jason Miller / Getty Images)
End of an era
“I’ve been on top and I’ve been the punching bag. I’ve been the All-Star and I’ve been the guy nobody wants on the field. I’d like to finish on a high note.” — Jason Kipnis
That was Kipnis’ sentiment during spring training. His season — and, essentially, his decade-long tenure in the Indians’ organization — ended in September, when he suffered a broken hamate bone.
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“It sucks. There’s no need to sugarcoat it. It just sucks, because it’s just been that much fun of a trip for me. I have very few regrets about the last eight years. It’s been an absolute joy to play here.
“It’s not the ride off into the sunset you hope for as a player when you’ve been with a team for a long time.”
Read more about Kipnis and the imperfect final chapter.
The hot seat
“Do you feel dumber? Sit in that chair and you feel dumber.” — Francona to Jim Thome
Thome used Francona’s office when he managed the American League during the Futures Game in July. Thome thanked Francona for the accommodations.
Leaving a lasting legacy
“Baseball is not forever. I want people and fans to remember me as a good human being and what I did on the field and off the field, too.” — Carlos Carrasco
No story in baseball was more inspiring in 2019 than Carrasco’s demonstration of resilience. Days after being diagnosed with chronic myeloid leukemia, he visited the pediatric cancer ward at Cleveland Clinic. Carrasco earned the league’s Roberto Clemente Award, as well as the distinction of The Athletic MLB’s Person of the Year.
Kipnis: “It’s not an easy thing to hear. Your life’s about to change. Your schedule’s about to change. You’re not allowed to do baseball for the time being. But he knows we’re going to be with him every step of the way. He’s not in this alone.”
Following a three-month absence, Carrasco made his return to the mound Sept. 1, before friends and family members in Tampa, where he resides during the offseason.
Carrasco: “When they told me, ‘Get ready, you’ve got the next inning,’ I was just like, ‘Oh, my God.’ I couldn’t control myself. But as soon as I released the first pitch, everything went away.”
Feeling the heat
“If anything, I’m coming back as a bigger and better horse.” — Mike Clevinger
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Clevinger returned earlier than expected from an upper back strain, and he produced a sterling stat line, with a 2.71 ERA and 169 strikeouts in 126 innings. He also made a point to boost his fastball velocity. So, when he described himself as “a bigger and better horse,” did he mean he wanted to throw 98 mph? 99 mph?
“No,” he said. “We’re going for the C-note.”
Clevinger ranked in the 83rd percentile in fastball velocity in 2019, with his average heater clocking in at 95.4 mph, up nearly 2 mph over his 2018 average.
What spring training’s all about
“Inevitably in spring training, the game maybe starts to lose some momentum around the fifth, sixth, seventh inning. It just seems like it does. Then we bring in a kid like Ernie Clement and he’s playing like he’s got a jet up his ass. It’s fun to watch. That kid’s excited. It gets us all energized.” — Francona
The one with LeBron James, animal milk and nipples
“My exact comment to him is, ‘OK, put LeBron James in a batter’s box. Is he not an athlete? Because I guarantee he won’t look pretty against big-league pitching. Is he still an athlete? He’s still the best in the world, actually.’ So his argument’s not that logical. It’s like a vegan saying you can’t drink milk — do animals drink other animals’ milk? No, because they don’t have the thumbs to milk their nipples. Of course not. But if they did, do you know what a dog would be doing every f*cking day?” — Clevinger
One morning during spring training, I sparked some debate between the starting pitchers about which member of the rotation is the best athlete. Shane Bieber and Clevinger were arguing about whether hitting ability should be factored into the equation when Clevinger launched into this analysis. To his credit, no one had a retort once he mentioned milking nipples.
(Top photo of Yasiel Puig: Brad Rempel / USA Today)
